What’s on the Table This Thanksgiving? Navigating the Holiday with Eating Disorders

Thanksgiving is a time traditionally associated with family, gratitude, and an abundance of food. But for someone struggling with an eating disorder (ED), the holiday table can be filled with anxiety, stress, and a deep sense of shame and discomfort. Whether it’s the pressure to indulge, comments about body image from family members or friends, or the sheer volume of food discussions, Thanksgiving can be an emotional minefield.

For those with eating disorders, it isn’t just about the food. The holiday brings heightened attention to weight, shape, and body image, triggering deep-seated fears that can be difficult to manage. This blog will explore the challenges of Thanksgiving for individuals with eating disorders, how to offer support as a family member, and provide actionable tips for navigating the holiday with greater ease.

Why Thanksgiving is a Tough Time for Those with Eating Disorders

For someone struggling with an eating disorder like anorexia, bulimia, or binge eating disorder, the focus on food during Thanksgiving can feel overwhelming. Family gatherings often come with well-meaning, yet potentially harmful, comments like “You look healthy!” or “Just have one more bite,” which may trigger fear, shame, or a sense of failure.

Here are a few reasons why Thanksgiving is particularly difficult for someone battling disordered eating or an eating disorder:

Pressure to Eat: The expectation to partake in large meals can cause immense stress for individuals with an ED. They may feel scrutinized by others or pressured to eat more than they’re comfortable with, leading to feelings of guilt or loss of control.

Focus on Appearance: Thanksgiving often reunites family members who may not have seen each other in months or even years. This can lead to comments about changes in appearance, weight, or health, which can be extremely triggering for someone struggling with body image issues.

Fear of Judgment: For those struggling with an eating disorder, sitting at the Thanksgiving table can feel like they are under a microscope. Whether it’s the amount of food on their plate, their appearance, if they are engaging with others, they may feel judged, heightening their anxiety.

Social Anxiety: Large family gatherings can be emotionally exhausting for someone dealing with an ED. Social interactions around food can intensify anxiety, as these individuals may feel embarrassed, ashamed, or uncomfortable about their eating behaviors. Remember, this occasion is not the place to address these issues. 

Supporting a Family Member Struggling with an Eating Disorder

If you have a family member struggling with an eating disorder, Thanksgiving can be a difficult time for both of you. It’s important to approach the situation with empathy, understanding, and awareness. Here’s how you can offer support:

🥰Create a Judgment-Free Zone: Avoid making comments about food, weight, or appearance. Even well-intentioned remarks, like complimenting someone on how they look, can trigger an unhealthy thought process in someone with an ED. Instead, focus on the quality of your time together.

🥰 Ask How You Can Help: If you’re unsure what your loved one needs, ask them directly. They might appreciate your support in stepping away from the table for a few minutes if things get too overwhelming or they may want help in preparing a plate that feels manageable.

🥰 Avoid Food Policing: Don’t monitor or comment on their eating habits. Policing food can feel controlling and can increase their anxiety or guilt. Instead, let them set their own boundaries when it comes to what and how much they eat.

🥰 Offer Emotional Support: Holidays can be emotional, especially when dealing with an eating disorder. Simply being there to listen and offer comfort without judgment can go a long way. Encourage open conversations about their feelings without focusing on food or weight.

🥰 Understand the Disorder: Educate yourself on the specifics of eating disorders. This can help you better empathize with what your loved one is going through and avoid inadvertently saying or doing something that might be triggering. NEDA (National Eating Disorders Association) is a great resource for understanding EDs and offers tips on how to help loved ones.

Tips for Coping with Thanksgiving When You Have an Eating Disorder

If you’re struggling with an eating disorder, there are ways to manage the holiday that can help reduce anxiety and give you more control over the situation. Here are some tips to help you cope with Thanksgiving:

👉Plan Ahead: If possible, create a plan for the day with your dietitian, therapist or support network. Decide in advance how you will handle mealtimes and potential triggers, such as limiting your time at the table or setting clear boundaries about food conversations.

👉 Set Realistic Expectations: Understand that the day may have its challenges, and that’s okay. Try to go into the holiday with the mindset that you’ll do your best but won’t expect perfection. Being kind to yourself is essential.

👉 Bring a Safe Dish: If you’re attending a gathering where you may feel anxious about the food options, consider bringing a dish that you’re comfortable eating. This way, you’ll have at least one item you can safely enjoy without added stress.

👉 Practice Mindfulness: Being present in the moment can help manage overwhelming emotions. Deep breathing exercises, meditation, or grounding techniques can be especially helpful when anxiety starts to rise. Apps like Calm or Headspace offer great tools for mindfulness.

👉 Use Your Support Network: Lean on your support system, whether that’s family, friends, or a therapist. Let them know what you’re experiencing and seek their encouragement. If things become overwhelming, take a step back and reach out to someone you trust.

👉 Create an Exit Strategy: If things become too overwhelming, it’s okay to take a break. Whether that means stepping away from the table, going for a walk, or excusing yourself early from the event, having an exit plan can help you regain a sense of control.

👉 Engage in Non-Food Activities: Shift the focus away from food by engaging in other aspects of the holiday, like playing a game, watching a movie, or spending time with a pet. This can provide a sense of normalcy and help reduce stress related to food.

If you or a friend are struggling with disordered eating or an eating disorder, please reach out for help and support. You deserve it!!

Refrences:

https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/7-tips-getting-through-thanksgiving-eating-disorder-recovery/
https://emilyprogram.com/blog/to-those-fearing-the-thanksgiving-table/
https://www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com/for-loved-ones/